You may have heard the jokes — Urban’s Young Men’s Group (YMG) is just a space for male-identifying students to talk about sports, filled with sexist discourse and toxic masculinity. In reality, YMG is a productive space for men to talk about relationships, mental health, and more. The perception that the space is an unserious place for sexist discussions harms students who attend YMG, and as a community, we need to put our full support behind YMG and the work that it does.
“In YMG, we create a space where male-identifying people can come and put down some of the emotional burdens they carry through the world,” said YMG Co-Leader Max Truong ’24. “The way society is structured can make it hard for guys to talk about their emotions, to talk about the things that they are dealing with, and YMG is supposed to be a space where they can do that.”
As the faculty adviser for YMG for over a decade, English Teacher Ben Slater experiences Urban’s feelings toward YMG firsthand. “I remember one student, a ninth grader, who, when I mentioned that I was coming from a YMG meeting, immediately made a disparaging joke about YMG,” said Slater. “I think that shows the level of negativity that students have towards the work that we do.”
YMG meetings foster discussions that deconstruct toxic masculinity and work to improve male mental health. The jokes and attitudes towards YMG make it harder for YMG to achieve its mission. To validate male-identifying students’ experiences with mental health struggles, the space needs more support and respect from the Urban community.
“I think there is definitely a gap between how YMG is perceived and what actually happens in our space,” said Truong. “I think that comes from how men are perceived in society. YMG is redefining what it means to have these conversations as a male-identifying person at Urban, and that is hard.”
“YMG is about doing the work that women have been telling men that we need to do for years,” said Slater. “It’s about taking apart toxic masculinity and patriarchal attitudes, and about helping young men express their emotions in healthy ways.”
In the YMG meetings I’ve attended, I have seen firsthand that YMG does incredible work in modeling respectful, safe discussions about hard topics. It provides a space to speak freely and be heard in a way that I have not found anywhere else at Urban. Attending meetings has improved my mental health — and that is a sentiment shared by many regular attendees of YMG.
“I started looking forward to YMG after just a couple weeks of going,” said Marco Bykhovsky ’25, a regular attendee of YMG and one of next year’s YMG co-leaders. “[The space provides] a place to get stuff off my chest, and that’s just so relieving. I’ve talked about academic and college stress there. I’ve never once felt judged.”
Even though YMG facilitates important discussions for male-identifying students who might not otherwise have a space to talk, our community reacts negatively to YMG. Ask a YMG member about their experience, and words like stigma, taboo or shame might come up.
“There is absolutely a stigma around YMG and around the work that YMG does,” said Bykhovsky. “I’ve heard a lot of very rude comments when I say I’m going to YMG [from] people who don’t take the space seriously.”
When Urban community members disrespect YMG or don’t take YMG seriously, it signals that they don’t respect or take male mental health seriously. That is completely unacceptable.
“Mental health struggles are something that affects everyone,” said Reichman. “Not acknowledging that as true for guys just hurts everyone.”
