According to the market research company YPulse, 35% of people in Generation Z (Gen Z) reported that they would prefer an unlabeled relationship over one with a label in 2023. Why are noncommittal relationships so popular among people in Gen Z, and why is Gen Z leaning into unlabeled relationships so willingly?
The talking stage is one of several terms Gen Z uses to describe the noncommittal gray area before a romantic relationship. “You might go home with [someone you’re talking to], have full sex, sleep over, develop an emotional connection with their dog and depart with a gentle forehead kiss,” wrote Vogue magazine in 2022. “[You] might still have no idea what they’re looking for or if they even like you. It wouldn’t be appropriate to ask, of course — don’t be crazy! You’re just talking.”
While the talking stage may stretch into weeks or even months, some people in Gen Z feel that dating offers a quicker assessment of compatibility. “[It] feels a little weird [because] a talking stage can be four weeks, rather than just going on a date with someone and figuring out if you like them after only an hour or two,” said Emily Loyola ‘24.
However, talking stages and other forms of noncommittal relationships remain in practice among people in Gen Z. In 2023, YPulse found that 37% of Gen Z has been involved in a noncommittal relationship.
Some hypothesize that minimal commitment is so popular among people in Gen Z — colloquially referred to as zoomers — because many zoomers shy away from commitment. In a survey conducted by The Urban Legend, 51.4% of the 66 respondents reported feeling scared of romantic commitment to some degree.
“It seems like Gen Z will say almost anything to describe dating someone without implying actual commitment,” wrote the Salt Lake City newspaper Deseret News in 2023.
“It seems like [people] want to have a way out of a relationship, like a back door that you can always sneak out of,” said Nobu Nitta-Mack ‘24. “If it’s not labeled and then you choose ‘I want to back out of this,’ it’s not like ‘I’m breaking up with you’ [or] ‘I’m doing a moral wrong.’”
“I think people [in Gen Z] are just soft, so they don’t like to have hard conversations or do things that [involve having] to make an important decision, like [deciding to] date,” said Ruthie Weiss ‘25. “It’s easier to make no decision at all than to make a definitive yes or no.”
The Urban Legend asked 66 students to rate their level of direct communication with people they are interested in on a scale from one to five, one being never and five being always. 41.5% of the 106 respondents reported two or lower.
“[Gen Z] daters are tiptoeing around direct communication to avoid coming off as cringey or overeager,” according to a 2024 report by the dating app Hinge.
“I feel like people just think dating or something specific like that is corny or embarrassing,” said Weiss. “I think that’s kind of stupid, but I’ve been there.”
Some feel that Gen Z’s fear of vulnerability creates a stigma around commitment. “It’s a vulnerable thing to commit [to someone],” said Nina Oberfest ‘24. “It opens you up to not only fear of rejection from the person, but also the social aspects [of commitment].”
Oberfest believes that the fears around commitment point to a bigger problem among zoomers. She said, “Generally it’s a social norm that caring is uncool, and commitment requires caring.”
